Today was fun-two more haircuts. There is a guy in my class that may or may not be gay. I have been trying to figure it out since I met him because it could honestly be either or. Today he was telling me that he gets the same songs stuck in his head all of the time. Like one song he always gets stuck in his head is Somewhere Over the Rainbow...All I could think about was Clueless when Dionne's boyfriend Murray is teaching her how to drive and Cher is in the back seat talking about Christian. He says, "Yo, look. Are you bitches blind or something? Your man, Christian is a cake-boy! He's a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streissand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I'm saying?"
Anyway, I think he is my favorite person in the class. He is really really nice and funny to talk to. He makes fun of people under his breath so it's way entertaining to be close enough to hear what he's saying.
I'm crushing hard on one of our mentors. He's so hot but way too sparkley eyed. It's such a shame. I can't even look at him without blushing!

We did two haircuts on our dollheads today and that is all we did. Two haircuts took ALL DAY. We started at 930, had an hour lunch and left at 430. It honestly took some girls ten to fifteen minutes just to part the hair on their dolls. I could tell my instructor wanted to cry or go insane. It could have easily gone either way. I wonder what she would have done had she gone insane. Maybe she would have walked by with a pair of scizzors and accidently taken chunks out of our hair? That makes me think of Edward Scizzorhands. I should watch that movie for inspiration.

I listened to Motley Crue, Dr Feelgood album on the way home from school today. It was beautiful. It's haircutting week. We had to blow up a balloon and put shaving cream on it. From there we were to pull out our razors and shave the balloon. This girl hadn't even started with the razor and her balloon popped--shaving cream burst out into the air and came down like snow. It was a scary task from then on out. Noone wanted to repeat that as the shaving cream proved to be quite the mess to clean up. I was kinda wishing that we would have used whipped cream instead. Whipped cream has such a kinkyness to it no matter what the situation. Just imagine that it was whipped cream falling down like snow--what would have happened? Although, it's all girls in the class so that kind of ruins the imagery for me--maybe not for the boy minds though.

Curse the day when Death Cab is purposely changed out for Natalie Fertado. We listen to music everyday when we are working on stuff. I was eternally grateful when someone put in Death Cab a few days ago. We listened to it that one blessed time and the rest of the time, besides a brief Bloc Party set, I think we've listened to every 'jock jam' out there. I don't want to be a music snob or anything so I never say anything. I put up with listening to the Maquerana and I'm too sexy over and over. However, I just about lost it today when this girl stopped Death Cab. I said I vote that we keep it on! No one backed me up and I was sad. She said, well we've been listening to this for three days and I can't handle it. I ran across the room and yanked off one of her five inch chunky platforms from 1998 and bitch slapped her with it. Ok not really but I wish I would have.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK:
Today and yesterday we permed dollheads.....well at least we put their hair in rollers for a perm. I find myself concentrating on rolling and just listening to all of the conversations around me. My gay male instructor decided to spill his guts about his love life to the assistant in class today. Fortunately, I was right there! So I got to hear all about a bald dude with bad teeth and a whole lot of money. He went on about how he wasn't into this guy but because the guy had flown in to see him and had bought him dinner and drinks, he felt like he needed to put out. So he made out with him in the hotel room but that was it. THEN the next time the guy came into town, my instructor was kind of avoiding his calls but finally called him back and hung out with him. THIS time, they ended up in the hotel room AGAIN and the dude stradled him and tryed to get it on. Finally, my instructor came to his senses and said uh I gotta go. I'm learning so much in hair school!

So we all have numbers associated with our names at school--like Kelly-42 or Michelle-83. There is a girl that got the number 69. So 69 cut and colored this girl's hair that is my class. She was talking about how she was teasing 69 about her number and a girl (who is only 17 years old) nearby said, 'What does that mean? I don't understand why everyone jokes around about that number.' How do you delicately explain what a 69 is? We somehow got out of it. I hope she asks her mom after school. ha ha.

Another day of school. I love it! We learned how to do weaves today and it's really awkward to work with foils at first. I had to partner up with someone and work on the same doll head with them. It was kind of funny to watch my partner weave. She wasn't really trying to do it like the instructor showed us. So it just wasn't working at all. I think maybe she just didn't get it? I don't know. The instructor told us about 100 times to weave at the scalp but she kept weaving a couple of inches out. It makes a big difference. Maybe she needed to hear it 101 times. If I would have heard it one more time, I might have started weaving under the scalp! My dollhead would have been bleeding plastic.
Yeah so that was my day, weaving a dollhead with conditioner (instead of color-for practice). As lame as that sounds, I totally loved it.

Our classroom is right off from the main hallway. The instructors have been warning us that we are going to hear way more than we would like to about people's lives as they chit chat down the hallway. So today this is what we heard REALLY LOUD:
"oh megan your ass smells soooo good!"

Sometimes we do things in class that make me feel like I'm in kindergarden. The way we learn is sometimes very elementary so it almost makes me feel like I'm dumber for having sat in class. Like we started to learn about color this week and so we played with playdough--mixed the primary colors to make secondary ones, etc. I guess having learned all about color with fashion design makes it seem elementary to me. I don't know--you tell me. Did you know that if you mix yellow and blue, you get green? Ok but be honest, did you know that without the ziplock commercials? Color is the most complicated part of this whole thing in my opinion. Everyone views color differently and when a client wants you to lift their hair two levels of color but have it be warm and not cool, who knows if what you are thinking is what they are thinking? It's going to be very tricky. I hope that we start learning soon with something a little bit more advanced that playdough.

So keeping with the black theme of yesterday's post, I wore an afro to school today. We had a disco day and I have this beautiful gigantic brown afro. I really looked like a black girl with white skin. I promise. Ask my sister. This lady came up to me and stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time and then she started to kind of pull the wig up in the front--she was checking to make sure it was indeed a wig. Then she commented that some of the girls had permed their hair into pube size curls the day before the event. So she was checking to see if I had permed my hair too. Apparently my wig must have looked like a gigantic ball of you know whats. What is it with this school and pubes? I'm sick of hearing about them already! Ew!

Have I mentioned that I don't like 19 year olds? Ok that is not entirely true. I remember being 19 and being totally stoked that highschool was behind me. Highschool was lame--clicky, snotty, annoying people all around me 5 days a week. In college, everyone was so nice--they smiled and even said hi to you in passing even if they didn't know you. This was how it was in the real world as well--every job I've had, everyone was super nice and friendly. Well, apparently not everyone in beauty school got the smile and/or be nice memo. There are a lot of people crammed into a small area so you pass the same people all of the time. There is never any eye contact or smiling. I just want to run out in the middle of the floor and yell, GET OVER YOURSELF. They treat the new students like mutants. I am a mutant. They are all going to be sorry when they see that I kick trash at this hair thing.
Never in a million years did I picture myself listening to rap and doing cornrows. Ok I have but I was sitting on a porch with snoop dog sipping gin and juice. Well that is what I did today--minus the porch, snoop, and gin. I felt like a black person and it was really cool. We also did fingerwaves and pincurls which were a total bad word. It looks so much easier than it really is. I'm glad I live in a day where fingerwaves aren't necessary--oh except I need to know how to do them in order to pass the state board. I have to know how to do a hairstyle that expired 60 years ago. That makes total sense, right? They might as well have us curl hair with rods that are heated up in a stove. Why let that die?

I'm 29 and I started beauty school yesterday. According to the average age of my class, I'm about ten years late on this. I'm the same age as my instructors. I'm excited to be there though. I feel like I should have started a long time ago.
So I'm in Provo and let's face it, it's a naive place. Most people are sheltered mormons--not that there is anything wrong with that!- and don't really get the real world yet especially at age 19. One of the instructors is CLEARLY gay. He is so much like Carson from queer eye for the straight guy, that it's uncanny. So there is a girl that is quite obnoxious in my class. It's embarrassing. I duck my head just about everytime she opens her mouth because I just can't take the idiot shivers. I find her flirting with the gay instructor constantly. I wondered all day, is she really that dumb? Does she really not know that he is gay? (My brother-in-law just informed me that some girls just flirt with every dude, gay or straight. I like to think that she is just dumb though. It's funnier that way.)
Moving on, today we talked about the different kinds of hair on our body. Our female instructor asked us what kinds of long hair we have on our body. Answers were the hair on our head and armpit hair. Then she asked what short bristly hair we have on our body. The class was silent for about 30 seconds and then the obnoxious one blurted out, Pubes? There was a long pause and then a loud roar of laughter from the instructors. They said uh actually, that's not on the list but eyebrows and eyelashes are. Pubes, eyebrows, eyelashes--same thing, right?