This girl is driving me nuts. She is the type of person that sounds nervous all of the time but she talks incessantly about nothing. Let me give you a prime example:
Me: "I asked someone how to do this haircut the other day"
Her: "Hahaha-you're all asking people how to cut hair--hahaha"
Me: "Yeah so I decided to diagram it so I could remember how to do it but I forgot my markers"
Her: "Hahaha--you're all trying to diagram without markers--hahaha"
Me: "So I looked through some magazines to find a picture of what I wanted to do"
Her: "Hahaha--you're all looking through magazines--hahaha"
What? Seriously why did you just repeat what I said like you made it in to a funny joke? It's seriously like hanging out with Rob Sneider on SNL and we're in the copy room. Conversations aren't funny when she's around because she repeats the jokes in her own language and I just want to look at her and say "Uh yeah I just said that."
I can usually deal with it but we don't have class this week so she is constantly around causing me grief. I feel bad because I am totally snubbing her and I think I would be totally nice to her if I didn't have to be around her 35 hours/ week. Seriously, what do I do?

When I got to school this morning there was a man waiting for a haircut in the front. He had long curly hair that was brushed out into a big fluffy rocker mullet main. It went perfectly with the studded belt, hard rock cafe t shirt, leather jacket, and sunglasses. He had a bunch of pictures with him. I wanted to be the one to do his hair but my sister in law was coming in so I knew that I was only going to get to watch. I knew that whatever he wanted was going to be good but I had no idea how good. The pictures he brought were all of Rod Stewart. Yeah, that's right....Rod Stewart. He's an impersonator in Las Vegas and he is going to be Rod for his next gig or something. Unfortunately there was no way he was going to get those lovely bleach Rod streaks in one day as his hair was very dark to begin with. So the final product won't be ready until he comes back for more bleaching on Monday. I can't wait!

There are only so many work stations at school and Saturdays are the only day where you might find all of those work stations being used but even then, you can usually find one open. They only schedule so many clients. Everyone usually tries to 'claim' a station once they get to school so that they will be ready for a client. However, it is common curtesy to give up your station if you don't have a client and someone else does. There is a student that has been on the floor maybe one or two weeks and apparently hasn't learned how things work. She came in to school twenty minutes early so that she could claim a specific station for a client that was coming at 1130am. Keep in mind that this is two hours into the day. Someone could have used that station for two clients and been out of her way by then. She left her stuff in the station drawer and on top and left for a break at about 10am. When she came back, someone had gotten a client and started working on her at this station. She completely freaked out. It was so funny. I wanted to ask her if she had OCD or something. Some of us were like, ok your client isn't coming for an hour and you can find another station by then you freak. Then some others were siding with her and telling her to go kick the other girl's A out of the station. The best was when one girl said to her, "I think you're acting really immature about this." I just about fell under the table laughing but I had to hold back. Oh how I love stupid 17 year olds.

What would you do if you were cutting someone's hair and someone walked up behind you and started puking all over the floor? That was the thrill of my Saturday: chunky orange and white puke at my feet. Nasty huh. Normally when put in that situation, I would start puking too but somehow I held it together, moved my client over to another station, and finished the haircut. The rest of the afternoon I felt shaky and sick from the sick smell that I got only a tiny wiff of. Why is it that throw up smells soooo nasty?

Ahhhh how I love MJF Thursdays. I am always sure to be on time to class and in the front row when he is teaching. Apparently there are several girls at the school with the same crush as myself. A few of us were discussing it before class and one of them said that she thought he looked like a hobbit. This sent me into uncontrollable fits of laughter and everytime I looked at MJF I had to bury my head in my hands. When he started talking about his love for Neil Diamond I didn't know what I was going to do. All I could picture was a chorus line of MJF's singing "We're coming to America!" in an elfin voice--you know the one where it sounds like you are fast forwarding?

When we go on breaks we usually walk across the street to a gas station and buy treats or get a drink or something. There is a crosswalk with bright orange flags at both ends to carry with you as you cross the street so that drivers are more aware of the peds. Most of the time walking all the way to the crosswalk is cumbersome so we do it like frogger or a mexican and make a run for it. Today however a girl went to the crosswalk and even pulled out a flag to cross the street. The irony of this is she was hit by a car and flew 50 feet. She broke both of her legs, a hip, her arm, and has a huge gash under her eye. She is five months pregnant and miraculously the baby is fine and in tact. What I want to know is what moron is out there driving and can't see a gigantic bright orange flag attached to a person in the middle of the street? What do you think it's like to be them? Do you think they can see street lights and other cars on the road? I have to wonder, are there people out there that just get in the car and push on the gas and hope that they get to their destination? Is there a secret day at the DMV where they just pass out licenses like free candy? Maybe there is a stack on table in some tucked away corner that says Take One above it. Why am I taking a test if I have that option?

A couple more things to add about Saturday. I cut my finger twice with the scizzors. Once so bad that I had to stop and find an instructor to get me a bandaid. To top off the day, this lady asked me if people tell me I look like 'someone'. Someone meaning someone famous. So I said yeah and named a few people. She said oh and didn't say anything else so I asked her who she thought I looked like. She said that she couldn't remember her name but she has a talk show. So I asked her, Ellen Degeneres? Yeah that's the one. Ok let's talk about this, people. I think Ellen is an attractive person but she dresses so masculine that to me she looks masculine. So in short, she basically told me that I look like a lesbian.

So we have substitutes right now because all of the instructors are in Mexico. You know how substitutes in school always suck? Well the same holds true in hair school. I was doing a hair cut on this little kid today and I had to have someone check it off before I could let him go. She was going through the cut and she totally shaved a hole the size of a nickel in the back of his head. The mom was ticked and I had to do the entire haircut over again to blend this hole in with the rest of the hair. This poor little kid had to sit in my chair for like an hour and a half. Dumb substitutes.

Today I walked up to the receptionist and said, "Hey my sister wants to get her eyebrows waxed so I'm just going to do it really quick before I cut this other girls hair." She glared at me and said, "Well you didn't ask nicely so I don't think so. You also have a request for a service right now." I looked at her completely puzzled and shocked. Shocked that she would say something so rude and puzzled because I had a request I didn't know about. So I said, "Did my request call and change her appointment because she isn't supposed to come in until 1pm." She replied in the same nasty tone, "Well contrary to popular belief, I am not here all of the time so I don't know. " She then added a very insincere "Sorry". Needless to say, I walked away pretty upset. Many bad words came to mind and may have even come out of my mouth. I decided that this was the last time that I was going to let her get away with this so I ratted on her to her supervisor. It felt really good to know that she was going to get her back section nailed to the wall by her boss later that day and I was going to get a full fledged apology. Later that day I got a note with an apology and some candy. ha ha.