I really don't know why this was funny to me but it was: This guy came walking by in his big snow boots and kicked the girl sitting next to me on accident. Now imagine the most feminine male voice or, if it helps, imagine Jack from Will and Grace but speaking very slowly and articulately:
'Oh my gosh! I just kicked you--that hurt! I'm sssoooo sorry! I am wearing my big snow boots. You can kick me in the nuts if you want to.'

I have a manequin dollhead that I practice perms, shampoo sets, weaves, etc on. I totally had a dream last night that there were hundreds of dollheads falling from the sky outside my window. I remember thinking it was a beautiful site--the heads floated softly down like snow against a blue sunny sky. If I would have had that dream a few months ago, it would have been very different. The dollheads used to totally freak me out kind of like how clowns do. I guess I'm used to them now because instead of screaming with terror, I scrambled to find my camera to run outside and take a picture.

You know those one guys that are gay and it's totally obvious that they are gay? It's like you are more surprised if they say they like girls. Yeah those ones....keep that in mind. We had to write down all of the questions we would ask if we were going to be taken on a boat to an island. We didn't know when we were going, why, what and who was on the island. So we began to share the questions we had come up with:
"When is the boat going to pick us up?"
"Will I have a bed when I get there?"
"How long will I be staying?"
Then one of the gay men in the class decided to speak up:
"Will there be an escort service and how much will it cost--oh and that is for a male escort." "Will there be a gay spa not a day spa but a gay spa?"
Yeah we heard gay and was it really necessary to say you want a male escort? You strut around shaking your hips when you walk and sit ever so daintily in your chair, legs ever so gently crossed. Whenever you comment in class, you sound more like a woman than anyone in there. Do you really think at this point that we are confused at what you want? We know you like boys--we all like boys. What if I ran around talking about how I have blond hair all of the time? Can we just get past stating the obvious from here on out? Even our gay instructor wanted to roll his eyes when you were talking but refrained because of your emotional instability--which is another story...
By the way, I saw two guys flirting with each other in the hall today. I have seen guys kiss, hold hands, etc but never flirt. It was weird and unnatural...more than the kissing even.

Sometimes I feel like beauty school is the place where burn outs end up to try and make something of themselves. If I have to hear about one more tattoo or piercing or how drunk or high someone got one more time, I'm going to to scream. I had to leave the room today because I couldn't deal with all of the post teen angst conversations going around me.
Dear Students,
Stop doing things to piss off your parents. I am done listening to you brag to your friends about the fights over the recent nose ring and tattoo on your forearm. We all get that you are recently independent but there really is no need to do anything further to prove this. Go away and live a responsible life and your parents will leave you alone. I realize that this might take the excitement out of your topics of conversation. Maybe if you did something meaningful with your time and money you would find something more interesting to talk about? Just a suggestion that will make all of our lives better.

Michael J Fox was there again today teaching us how to do haircuts. I'm crushing hard-- He is cute and funny. Whoa baby. We were talking about salons in the area--one of which MJF has worked at. He hadn't been there in a while and one of the students had so the student gave him an update. He described it like this- and this is a direct quote, "It's like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory gone gay". Doesn't that just make your imagination go wild? A gay Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Brilliant.

There is a girl that sounds like Fran Drescher when she talks and I am about to shoot her in the head the next time she opens her mouth. It is honestly the most annoyingly loud nasal voice I've ever heard. Then there is the guy that she is always talking to who just sits and giggles and sounds like a total idiot. Ok I'm done complaining!
Today at lunch I was sitting with some girls, most of who are not mormon or very inactive. They started in a little bit on mormons they don't like and were talking a little about crazy fictional stories about Joseph Smith. I just kind of sat there and tried to slip in comments about how not everyone is like that and I'd never heard that, etc. After lunch, one of the girls pulled me aside. Her family is active in the church but she is not. She apologized for the conversation topic and hoped that I wasn't offended. I thanked her for the apology and explained that I was ok and it wasn't a big deal. My respect for this girl continually gets higher the more I get to know her. Never have I known someone like her. Most people that I have known that don't believe in the gospel anymore, tend to be extremely rude and badmouthing of the church. They have total disregard for any of the beliefs and are in turn very disrespectful to someone like me who holds those beliefs sacred. She refrains from so much out of respect for me. I'm just so impressed!
It is surprising to me that there are so many nonmembers and inactive members that go to this school. It is literally like walking into another dimension when I walk into school each day. I had no idea that it would be this way being in Utah and being so close to byu. Religion is a touchy subject there and so it's odd to not feel comfortable in bringing it up. Even in all of the places I worked before this around nonmembers, this is definitely where I've felt the most like I was walking on eggshells in that regard. I suppose it's a learning experience for me.

Dear Mentor,
It seems you found me on myspace. You came up to me today and went on about how you liked my picture and how you and your friends laughed really hard. You also announced my age which is ok because all that heard were in shock and went on about how good I look for my age. Let's back up though for one second. How did you 'happen' upon my page? We don't have any mutual friends that I know of. As far as I can tell, you would have had to go in and physically type in my name and search for me. That is all very interesting. Could it be that you sought me out? That is so cute.

This girl told me today that she graduated from Paul Mitchell four years ago and she works at super cuts and loves it. I don't get it. Why even go to school if you're going to get a job making minimum wage?