Last night I sat at the kitchen table eating icecream with three little kids. They were talking my ear off about baseball games, fireworks, and spiderman. Despite all of the happiness and fun conversation around me, my mind kept returning to the house I spent the day in. Flashes of the white doors and white moldings, covered in black dust; flooring and walls removed; the initial walk through= solemn, quiet, reverent; Deanna crying from the depths of her soul, fighting to come back to the surface but drowning in the sorrow for the loss of the person that meant the world to her; A house once filled with excitement and energy, now standing hollow and still--yet echoing a quiet whisper of a life's end.
My friend Travis Alexander was found murdered in his home this week. I feel shocked and sad. I just keep shaking my head the more I discover. Who would take another life and in such a violent manner? Travis was a good person. He worked hard to become a person that everyone loved. He went to church, attended the temple, read an endless amount of LDS church related literature. He loved to quote the scriptures and he truly loved the Lord. He spent every morning creating a list of goals and would check them off as his day progressed. It was haunting to find his last index card. He didn't have a chance to check one item off.
As I sat at that table, watching those kids as we ate icecream, it was hard to believe that there was actually happiness outside of the sorrow and horror I had experienced the three days previous. I forgot that life actually still goes on and there are people out there that are still experiencing all kinds of wonderful things.
So I went to the temple today and I was reminded of the larger picture. Our time here on earth is such a small part of it all. So really, as awful as it is for Travis to have died the way he did, I'm actually happy for him. He's in a place that is more wonderful than we could possibly imagine. He is happy to be there and he could not care less about the things he left behind--his house, his furniture, his car. As far as people he left behind, he loves them so so much and he took that love with him. The time between us seeing him again will seem long, but to him it will be so very short. As much as we will miss him, we can forge ahead and find happiness again. We will experience wonderful things and feel joy and peace. I already find peace and joy in knowing without a doubt that we live beyond this life.
8 comments:
THat is so sad. It's weird to think stuff like this really happens. Sorry to hear it.
Tracy,
thank you for summing up so succinctly what I have been feeling. No matter what, Travis was a great man and many people loved him. As I sat here crying while I read your post, I couldn't help but think of how happy he is now. He will be greatly missed.
Ashley
I am so glad you were able to be there for Deanna and she did not have to be there alone.
Very beautifully written my friend. This is a sad time...but you're right. There is still so much joy!
That was beautifully written! Travis will definitely be missed!
Thanks Tracy, that was beautifully written. Thanks for all your help in AZ, we really needed it.
Hillary
You always seem to be there to help others out. This seems to be a horrible situation and I have no doubt that you helped. I know you have always been a good friend to me.
Wow. I am so sorry for your loss, Tracy. That could not be easy. I seriously don't understand how something like that could happen. My prayers are with you.
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