Dear Mentor,
On Friday you came into our class for haircutting, to get a refresher course on barbering. Let's be honest here, mentor. You were coming in to see me. I know it. You have a secret crush on me. This would explain the nervous glances and awkward behavior around me and the fact that you keep showing up in our class when you're not supposed to be there. Today you were there again, making eyes at me whenever possible. It's so cute. You are so cute with your little black faux hawk that makes you look almost like Lyle Lovet--who I don't find remotely attractive by the way. Somehow you are the hot version of Lyle. The version that Julia Roberts saw and no one else did. One of the girls made it a goal today to kiss every straight guy in the school. She also made a bet with someone last year that she would be dating Ashton Kutcher by this April so let's not hold our breath on her coming within a foot of you. You will be mine, oh yes, you will be mine.
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